Friday Five: The Oscars

A few things are on my mind as the Academy Awards approach…

1. Why wasn’t Ryan nominated for Best Actor for his role as Dean in Blue Valentine? (By Ryan, I mean, of course: Ryan Gosling – first name basis, you know). He was incredible as both the unsatisfied, love-hungry husband, incapable of change, AND the dramatically romantic boyfriend. Plus, he was balding (fake-balding people, relax) and had to wear a shirt with an eagle on the front for most of the movie. Robbed, I say – ROBBED!
2. If it were up to me, The Social Network would win best picture. The ending wasn’t vague (i.e. Inception), it’s completely quotable (especially the Winklevoss twins), and I would actually watch it again (Natalie Portman’s struggle with her inner black swan and Collin Firth’s speech dilemma, while fantastic movies, are one-time watches).
3. I would like Aaron Sorkin to win The Adapted Screenplay category, just to hear him apologize YET AGAIN to Mark Zuckerberg for character defamation.
4. From Jack “Cowboy” Kelly, to Patrick Bateman, to Bruce Wayne, Christian Bale’s range never ceases to amaze me – however this time he’s out-acted even himself. (My boyfriend didn’t even recognize him as Dickie Eklund.) He’s a shoe-in for Best Supporting Actor for his role in The Fighter.
5. Two words: James Franco. Please tell me we will get to hear some of this during his hosting gig.

Conversation with the Cousin: A blurb on Hemingway

Me: I liked it, I mean, the author is clearly trying to sound like Hemingway, but that doesn’t matter because everyone tries to sound like Hemingway.

Cousin: I wonder who Hemingway was trying to sound like.

Friday Five: The Sky is Everywhere

I love this book. I read it last year and was thrilled to see this on Lisa and Laura’s blog. Of course, my natural reaction was to re-read the book for the third time…

It’s one of those books that never gets old and always impresses. Choosing only five quotes was HARD, but these are some of my favorites.

“If anyone asks where we are, just tell them to look up.”

1. "I know the expression love bloomed is metaphorical, but in my heart in this moment, there is one badass flower, captured in time-lapse photography, going from bud to wild radiant blossom in ten seconds flat."

2. “In the end, Cathy and Heathcliff are together, love is stronger than anything, even death."

3. "I'm afraid to open m eyes, but I do, and he's standing at the edge of the bed looking down at me – an army of ninja-cupids who must have all been hiding out in the canopy draw their bows and release –arrows fly from every which way.”

4. “Who knew all this time I was one kiss away from being Cathy and Juliet and Elizabeth Bennet and Lady Chatterley!?”

5. “It’s such a colossal effort not to be haunted by what’s lost, but to be enchanted by what was.”

Conversation with the Cousin

…regarding a book set in Portland. Which Portland was up for debate. Although let me just preface this by saying, I was right.

Vs.

Me: So have you started the book?

Cousin: I’m on page 32, but…

Me: What?

Cousin: Why is it set in Portland? I don’t like that.

Me: Portland, Maine. Haha.

Cousin: No.

Me: Yes.

Cousin: No.

Me: I promise. It’s Portland, Maine.

Cousin: No.

Me: Let me point out, I’ve read the entire book.

Cousin: Let me point out, I live in Portland.

Me: Portland – Oregon!

Cousin: Where the book takes place.

Me: Um – is Portland, Oregon near the Canadian Border? Is it by the ocean? Case in Point.

Cousin: Is there a University of Portland in Maine, because I googled it and the University of Portland is in Portland, Oregon.

Me: The book takes place in the future – maybe in the future there is a University of Portland in Maine.

Cousin: Well maybe since it’s the future, the continent has shifted and Portland, Oregon now borders the ocean and Canada.

Me: No… just no.

Cousin: (silence) *Flips through the book* Okay fine. So it takes place in Portland, Maine.

*Frowns* I don’t know if I can read it now. I’ve been picturing Portland, Oregon.

Me: You’re only on page 32.

Cousin: You know, if they’re going to make up a university in the future, they should make sure it’s not already a real university that exists in a different part of the country.

Me: Okay.

Cousin: People should not write about Oregon unless they’ve been to Oregon…

Me: Okay, but she wasn’t writing about Oregon.

Cousin: …It’s like that one book, that claimed people could have an ‘East Oregoner accent.’ There is no East Oregoner accent. And if there was it would be called an East Oregonian accent. Ruined the entire book.

Me: Remind me to never write a book taking place in Oregon.

Friday Five: Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird

Anne Lamott wrote Bird by Bird and writers everywhere said, “Yes – exactly!”

1. “Writing can be a pretty desperate endeavor, because it is about some of our deepest needs: our need to be visible, to be heard, our need to make sense of our lives, to wake up and grow and belong.”

2. “Perfectionism is a mean, frozen form of idealism, while messes are the artist's true friend. What people somehow forgot to mention when we were children was that we need to make messes in order to find out who we are and why we are here."

3. "Because this business of becoming conscious, of being a writer, is ultimately about asking yourself, how alive am I willing to be?"

4. “When writers make us shake our heads with the exactness of their prose and their truths, and even make us laugh about ourselves or life, our buoyancy is restored. We are given a shot at dancing with, or at least clapping along with, the absurdity of life, instead of being squashed by it over and over again.”

5. "I know some very great writers, writers you love who write beautifully and have made a great deal of money, and not one of them sits down routinely feeling wildly enthusiastic and confident. Not one of them writes elegant first drafts. All right, one of them does, but we do not like her very much.”

AP (After Publication)

To more specifically define the AP timeline: it’s the time when your agent calls you and says, “Guess what? Amazing Publishing House will be releasing your book in Year X.” I’m sure there’s really more to the phone call than that – not that I would know – but you get the idea.

You’re getting published. What’s next?

Advice from the best – those who’ve been there:

· Lindsey Leavitt reveals the highs and lows

· Kirsten Hubbard shares the three types of negative book reviews

· Susan Colasanti talks about Arcs and Galleys

· Michelle Hodkin shares her secret to getting published

· Saundra Mitchell gives marketing tools

· Bookends Literary Agency reveals what authors can do to sell books

· Agent Rachelle Gardner on the agent / author relationship

Friday Five: Friday Night Lights

"Too late, play's over. You waited too long to make a decision. Now we lost the game because of you, now we're not going to state, and now the whole town of Dillon hates you and you're never going to get laid. FACT." - Tim Riggins

Football themed since the Super Bowl is this weekend. And since I don’t particularly care for football unless it comes with a side of Coach Taylor and a dash of Tim Riggins, here are quotes from Friday Night Lights.

1. “I’ve got four classes all in a row, there’s no me time, Billy. I’ve got these books that are 800 pages long – where’s the me time, Billy?” - Tim Riggins

2. “Don’t worry, when there’s a fight I usually just stand in the back yell stuff.” - Matt Saracen

3. "They’ve even got some top notch ballet-ers!”-Coach Taylor

4. “The big deal is it's part of my job to make sure that you don't grow up stupid. It's bad for the world.” - Tami Taylor

5. “Did I just lose a lot of man points for that?” - Laundry Clark

In honor of Delirium Day…

I’ve been holding my breath for the past eight months waiting for this book. Seriously, how can you NOT be excited to read this:

Delirium, by Lauren Oliver

Before scientists found the cure, people thought love was a good thing. They didn’t understand that once love -- the deliria -- blooms in your blood, there is no escaping its hold. Things are different now. Scientists are able to eradicate love, and the governments demands that all citizens receive the cure upon turning eighteen. Lena Holoway has always looked forward to the day when she’ll be cured. A life without love is a life without pain: safe, measured, predictable, and happy. But with ninety-five days left until her treatment, Lena does the unthinkable: She falls in love. (From GoodReads.com)

If you’ve read Before I Fall, you know that you’re in for another great story. Lauren Oliver is talented like that.

My friend, Karisa and I were so excited that we actually wished each other a ‘Happy Delirium Day’ - then promptly started reading – or in her case kindling (warning: new verb. Does it work?) My cousin is especially celebrating because now, maybe I’ll shut up about it already.

So in honor of Delirium Day (yesterday) I’ve decided to compile a list of couples, famous in life and in literature, who had they had the chance might have (or SHOULD have) opted for the cure.

The book’s brilliant themes aside, these couples suffered serious cases of Amor Deliria Nervosa:

· Estella & Pip, Great Expectations

(Despite their seemingly happy ending, she was basically trained to torture him, and that’s what she did the entire book. Cure please.)

· Romeo & Juliet , Romeo and Juliet

(Feuding families and a misunderstanding resulting in death – even though I’m pretty sure R & J were too young for the cure, this might’ve been an exception.)

· Tristan & Isolde, Tristan & Isolde

(She marries someone else – so he marries someone else out of spite – they both die of loneliness – one of the symptoms and fatalities of the Deliria.)

· Scarlet & Rhett, Gone with the Wind

(They never seemed to ‘give a damn’ about each other at the same time.)

· Daisy & Jay, The Great Gatsby

(Money can’t buy happiness or love. Think of all the dough and heartache Jay would have saved had he been cured.)

· Heidi & Spencer Pratt

(Symptoms include excessive plastic surgery and harassment.)

· Sienna Miller & Jude Law

(To steal a line from SATC 2: “Isn’t there a law against having a nanny that looks like that?”

“Yeah, the Jude Law.”)

· Charlie Sheen & Denise Richards

(More like a cure for who-can-get-the-most-tabloid-attention.)

Who am I missing??